Pain Points

You know those claims on products? Those ear-ticklers that promise to ease our pain points?

Easy to use! Simply…

A breeze to install! Just…

Quick and painless! First…

Never (fill in the blank here with some hated feeling/task/expenditure) again!

And on and on the sales language goes. And I’m a sucker for sales language.

In fact, I think I may have come about this flaw through genetics. Four generations strong, actually. Buying into absurd advertising promises because we like a quick fix to whatever ails us at the moment.

QVC, HSN, and those “Order now and we’ll double your offer” television commercial ads love my gang.

Well, at least others in my family. I have a slightly different addiction.

For one lady, it was anything colon cleansing. Sorry for all my visual readers out there, but once you hit 80 years old, bathroom habits evidently become of critical importance.

Or anything that would help her sleep. Pillows. Some essential oil concoction. White noise machines.

For another lady, it’s spinning mops and cleaning supplies.

Another goes for ageless-ness products and clothing.

For another guy it’s any gadget or gizmo promising to make life comfortable—whatever comfortable is defined as in the moment. Ergonomic mouse. Back support brace. Compression socks.

But do they really work? Really, really?

Some things do—a little bit. Some things not at all because we “didn’t give it long enough.” Or didn’t follow it up with “super colon cleanse step 45.”

My hang-up?

Online courses.

Learn THIS and you can do THAT with ease.

Follow this method and you can construct that product in your sleep.

What (some big name) did to successfully (some dream of mine) in just (an unrealistically small number) days.

But does this advice really pan out?

Some does. Some doesn’t.

I’ve learned to hone my e-learning spending. And I do much, much research on the so-called “experts.” If they haven’t been in the indie publishing industry at least as long as the first Kindle screen lit up, and if they have no proven record of sales success continually since then, I move on.

Lately, I’m studying all things publishing platforms. And it really does help having someone screenshot what the next step is. It can be a lot to navigate.

And I gladly hand over a few dollars for the pro to show me rather than spend countless priceless hours struggling with rejection emails:

Sorry, your content didn’t post because...

Install the latest version of (fill in the blank with software I didn’t know existed) to continue.

Unfortunately, you missed step number 2,349 and need to go back to start.

Your gutter isn’t formatted properly.

Reboot your computer, we’ve given you a virus.

I still feel like the schmuck in the photo. Poor guy. I know his pain.

So now off to tackle another platform task and get in some more chapters on Switch’s sequel.

Before the internet bots and trolls dig through my online footprint and send me ads for another magical e-learning course to ease what ails me.

Thank you for hanging out for a bit. Check back on Mondays for a new blog or revisit older post on my Archive page. Don't forget to come back on the first Friday of every month for a free fictional short, and be sure to visit my Amazon page.