(originally posted in January 2020. You know, before the world did what it did...)
It all started with The Mouse.
I swear I didn’t intend to develop a disorder. It just happened.
My already-too-soft spot for office supplies/stationery grew a little weaker while I stood in the produce section that day…
Mickey Mouse greeted me in Steamboat Willie fashion. A retro-style memento of times gone by. I got the bananas home, freed them from their wispy plastic, and hung them on their little rack. I opened the cabinet above them to put away something else and noticed a nick in the wood on the inside of the door. I took the Mickey sticker and covered the spot.
The next trip, I found another bunch of bananas and a new style of Mickey. And it all went downhill from there.
For a while, it made shopping a little less mundane, at least in the produce section. Search the bunches for an image not yet on my cabinet. And (please don’t turn me into the police) sometimes I’d switch the stickers from a too-green bunch or too-dark-spotted bunch to the bunch that interested me.
I’ve been known to snap a photo of the inside of the door so when I buy bananas the next time, I don’t end up with a duplicate sticker.
It’s a sickness. A dirty little pleasure. Little Miss gets a kick out of it. Wishes they’d do a unicorn series or purple fashion accessory series. I told her I didn’t think the powers that be had that in the works…
Dole puts out themed (read Disney) stickers on their fruit. And I just, sort of, well, collected them. I was super stoked when Mickey gave way to the Avengers. But, as I’m not a huge banana fan, and at that time my guys were also swearing off the yellow ovals, I wasn’t able to collect the whole gang.
Chiquita puts stickers on their bananas, too, but they’re more artsy-fartsy and less poppy-culturey. I tried, as you can see, to embrace the artsy-fartsy, but it just wasn’t doing it for me.
I’m not too worried about running out of space. If the banana stickers fill the inside of all my kitchen cabinets, I can always start new lines in the bathroom…
However, I have wondered what I’ll do with this collection if we ever sell our home. Those stickers are really, really stuck. Maybe I’ll leave them for the next occupants. Bump up the selling price of the house by five percent or so… Who knows? Maybe someday they’ll be worth their weight in bananas!
Addendum: Before ya’ll shun me because I’m hopelessly flawed, here’s a bit of an update: THERE ARE PEOPLE SELLING DOLE BANANA STICKERS ON EBAY!
AND OTHER PEOPLE ARE BUYING THEM!
I am, however, truly bummed that I missed out on the Star Wars series. That was a tough one to swallow. I can sleep tonight, though. There are others like me.
But I won’t be buying my banana stickers on eBay. If I did, how would I occupy myself in the produce section?