Warning: For those with low tolerances for bathroom humor, just skip this one.
Autocorrect has been a real pill the last few days. Either that or I need glasses.
I know I’m brain-fried from life events, daily chaos, and the sweltering days of… Spring? (as I write this the official start of summer is still six days away and already 93 degrees with a 108 heat index). Add to that the occasional hot flash, and, yeah. Beth is brain fried (so a short but maybe not-so-sweet post this week).
But, still. I mean. When I’m trying to type suppose, and I’m only off by a single letter, there’s no way any intelligent AI should suppose I’m trying to say sensual.
So I reached up to make sure I’m wearing my glasses. Yes. I was, and I know I didn’t get that many letters off.
Sensual someone gets the wrong idea?
I mean, suppose someone gets the wrong idea?
My favorite all-time autocorrect occurred this week. The sentence was sensual supposed to read “We shall see.”
Autocorrect decided to teach me a new word and corrected it to “We shapp see.”
Shapp?
What even is a shapp? Why is this nonsense word even in the AI’s dictionary?
Turns out Milton Shapp was a Pennsylvania governor back in the ‘40s. Upon digging a little further, Merriam-Webster doesn’t list shapp as a word.
But the Urban Dictionary does…
Shapp is a verb. “To lose any/all control of bowels, especially to defecate on floor.”
Another meaning: “To do something bad and then hang around a few hours, not helping clean up.”
No matter what you think of the Urban Dictionary, it has saved me from making a fool of myself a couple of times. I simply cannot keep up with the slang and changing meanings of words and phrases.
Apparently, Merriam-Webster can’t either. And it seems like anyone younger than me by more than five years speak English, but not really English.
Also, given some of the Urban Dictionary’s front-page, featured definitions, I’ve clearly lived a sheltered life. (Note to self: Have a culturally astute editor read anything written for YA audiences and younger… jeez.)
At any rate, shapp was a well-time autocorrect given our recent life events. Either definition would fit. I’ll let you use your imagination to protect the medical and emotional privacy of those involved.
The Hubs, the Adult-ish Male Child, and I threw around fun banter, changing the part of speech and adding suffixes and prefixes to the word at length. We needed the laugh.
We laughed so hard that I feared one of us might give a demonstration of our new vocabulary word.
Either or both definitions.
I’ll let you use your imagination.
Another autocorrect turned “About ten o’clock” into ataraxia.
Well then.
This one Merriam-Webster has under control.
Ataraxia: A state of freedom from emotional disturbance and anxiety.
So, ataraxia is an antonym of shapp.
It’s also an antonym for hot flashes and 108-degree heat indices.
I wish to attain this ataraxia condition. It seems a might more favorable to the other conditions I and the ones closest to me are currently dealing with.
Ataraxia. A favorite new word!
And though summer is not one of my favorite words (or events), I do wish you an ataraxia-ish start to the season — with no shapping about (either definition!).
