I Don't Wanna...

I Don't Wanna...

It was bound to happen at some point.

A Monday Christmas.

Blog post day.

It also happens to be the last Monday in 2023. That “look back over the last twelve months” deal. 

A double whammy, not-one-little-bit-of-pressure post. 

I seriously thought about bailing on this one.

A snarky “You can’t make meeeee” escaped from my lips as I realized how this would time out.  

I don’t wanna look back over 2023. I stalled out dealing with CIRCUS issues, internal demons, and trying and failing not to fall on my face learning yoga.

Not to mention my rogue Little Miss Muse.  

And how many times I attempted to burn down my kitchen.

I don’t wanna be upbeat. I’m in a funk.

I don’t wanna, ‘cause I lost the “up” out of my “beat” somewhere along the line (and I didn't have much "up" to begin with).

A just-give-me-coal-in-my-stocking kind of mood.

And then I realized I sounded like Little Miss Muse when she throws one of her lavender-hazed tantrums.

A true tutu-flipping, wing-flicking, sit-in-the-floor-and-cry-great-purple-puddles fit.

Whiny, even.

But I’ve got this streak going. For years now, since June 2018, I’ve posted something each Monday, whether a free fiction story or full-length blog posts. That’s 232 blog posts and 66 free short stories.

Monday after Monday.

For that streak, I’m grateful.

Sometimes, especially when life gets wonky (and let’s face it, the Paul household can win awards in wonky), the blog and its readers are the only things that get me to the writing chair.

A weekly target and an eager audience.

And for that, I’m humbled. Truly. Thanks for hanging with me.

Other stats for 2023:

We won’t mention all the WIPs (works in [various chaotic states] of progress). Because I don’t wanna…

Because it makes Little Miss Muse get out her bottle rockets. And cats and fur go flying. And Trudi threatens to faint…

Other things I don’t wanna?

I don’t wanna take for granted the love and support friends and family have shown over this last year. Thank you all—you know who you are.

I don’t wanna let the CIRCUS tent flaps fly open, sending clowns-a-flame and poodles-a-pooping to run amok across unfinished manuscripts.

I don’t wanna let the fun fizzle out of the writing…

I just don’t wanna.

So I won’t.


That funky mood is lifting a bit.

Perhaps a look back is what was needed. Not at the clouds or struggles or losses of the year, but of the blessings and accomplishments. There are more items on that list than I thought there’d be...

I bet there are quite a few items on your list, too.

Gratitude on purpose tends to fight the funk.

Here’s to a funk-less, happy Christmas and a peaceful and productive New Year from Trudi the Office Goose, Little Miss Muse, and B.A. Paul!


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